A shift in consciousness

I learned that I'm the one that can determine my thoughts. Instead of all the repeating thoughts of thousands of times: “this should never have happened, my mother ruined my life, nobody loves me ... the world is wrong and so on. It turned out I’m not my thoughts but a much deeper being. I turned out to be an infinite soul, and so is everyone else. That was a shift in consciousness. Now I no longer identified myself with my thoughts, but with the soul that I am.

Once I discovered this and started to practice with it, a whole different world opened up to me. It isn’t that I do not see the misery in the world or like nothing bad ever happens  to me... but I look at it differently and instead of feeling a victim I ask myself, what can I do? And that what I can do, I do even if it’s the smallest thing. That makes my blood and energy flow. I learned to breathe more expanded… despite having asthma it’s possible stable my breathing and breathe from my belly. Whenever my breath gets high I breathe out deeply, and so I relax.

I opened up to spirituality and started a search… that quest alone was already so interesting. I started to experience miracles that made me feel myself as being Light and Love. Without the daily limitations we impose on ourselves. That was a huge revelation… felt connected everyone and with the whole universe. I learned to feel what there is to feel… so also grief, pain and love… Then it turns out that even severe pain transforms into silence and love once going all the way through it. In addition I read many wonderful books, I went to workshops, refused to talk about how difficult everything was but only spoke about how we could get out of the misery. I looked at what there was that I could do, and started to experiment. I realized that I was the one who had created the idea that I wasn’t loved… I had been listening to people who told me I wasn’t good enough and started to believe them. And because of the look on my face that displayed “I’m not worth a thing and I'm not pretty…” and “You are better and prettier and wiser than me…” I received back what I transmitted.

What a relief. I discovered it always works this way. For a large part we create our own experience. Of course, people around us die or get ill or wars break loose… we can suffer over it or do something. Doing something always works better… and a small contribution can have quite an effect in the world. Most of the time have no idea to what even the smallest thing can lead.

Thanks to Ramon Vermij who translated this so Hranush his wife can read it to.