Pay it forward (English version)

About seeding and prejudices.

For the third time I sat sobbing while watching the movie "Pay it Forward." It's about a boy who must make a project for school. He has the following in mind: he does something good for three people, with the condition that the three will also help three people, and on and on so it expands through the world.
The boy thinks his work has failed, but we as viewers can see what happened to those people and how they helped others. So his project worked very well.

Actually we do it all every day of our lives. We do not realize what we are all sending out in this world. Until we realize it and then we do it consciously.
In the time I was struggling and felt lonely, I sat around the corner in a café drinking a cup of coffee. Suddenly I remembered that I forgot to turn of the fire under my rice.
I told the waiter that I would soon be back. When I returned he had put my saucer on the cup for the coffee to keep warm. Believe it or not, I was very touched by that small gesture. Probably I felt it deeper because I felt so alone in the world. Now years later I write about him. That good man will not have realized what the effect was en still is. Occasionally I think about the friendly gesture of the waiter.

Nowadays I do the same thing if someone should rise from the table and the coffee is likely to be cold. It's just a very small gesture, but still ...
You walk the streets, a gray day, everyone seems to be in a hurry and in their own world. Then suddenly there is someone who looks at you and smiles. Something so trivial and yet it warms you and you walk along stronger and happier and you look suddenly smiling in the eyes of someone else.
Pay it Forward.

I am sure I have looked at people angry and irritated while walking in the streets in the past. This is what I have also sent into the world. Unaware of what I inflicted. "Pay it Forward" in a negative sense.

Before new years eve the baker's wife wished me a happy New Year. She said she was hoping for more peace in the world. Then she said this is wishful thinking and that humanity was poor and the youth was no good. She felt powerless. "But what can I do?" she asked.
In the bakery is a chair and standing outside is a bench for people who can not long stand. In addition to the bench is a standard with newspapers. The area smells of freshly baked bread.
The baker's wife is always friendly with everyone and loves a chat.
So I said, "You do everything. Your shop spreads the most wonderful scents, you'll always have a kind word for everyone. Older people are happy here and wait their turn to go out again with a smile. Then they see their neighbors and give them a smile." With enthousiasm I added something to it on the youth:" I give presentations to classes of medical students at the University. Eighty percent say they have chosen their study to do something for humanity. Some of them work in Africa to work with children who have HIV. So it is not too bad with the youth. "The woman began to shine. "That is my daughter! She is studying medicine and she is this very moment in Johannesburg to work with children with HIV in the townships!"
We were laughing happy together.

When I walked home with my whole wheat bread, I remembered that I recently wrote a piece about her daughters. When they work in the bakery they always say the same thing… years and years and I used them as an example for people who are stuck in themselves. Have I ever asked them what they do? Have I taken the time to talk to them a little longer? No, I have held and used them in my piece. So here is another lesson for me to learn: not to judge and demand even beyond the superficialities.
Who was here now superficial?
So this conversation again delivers something. Thank you ladies from the bakery. I pay it forward with this story.
Who knows three people will read it?

©Marja Ruijterman
Amsterdam
Speaker/Columnist/Lifecoach